Books to Help Kids Through Loss
Parents can reassure and comfort their children when they have lost a sibling by being open to questions they may have and encouraging them to share their feelings. It can also be a time for parents to help children strengthen their faith as they discuss their fears, doubts, and questions about death, heaven, and things of eternity. Using a children’s picture book is a useful springboard to begin and guide these discussions. Here is a list of recommended books that have helped our family.
The beautiful paintings and poetic metaphors displayed in this book truly articulate the different emotions one experiences on a grief journey. I heard Roger Hutchinson share about his process of writing this book at a Christian children’s writing conference. I learned that this book is the result of Hutchinson’s work using art to help the families who had suffered trauma after the tragic events at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT where many young children lost their lives.
The Empty Arms support group provided a lending library during each of our meetings. The leader of my group recommended this sweet book to read with my five-year-old daughter. It traces the emotions of a family at the beginning of a pregnancy and contrasts how they feel after the miscarriage in language that a young child can understand. It also expands children’s imagination of heaven and what their siblings may be doing in heaven, ending on a hopeful note.
Papa bear answers baby bear’s questions in this lovely book about when people go to heaven, sometimes at a young age and not necessarily when one is very old. The conversation between the parent and child model a positive way to respond to a child’s questions respectfully with solid biblical answers. Although the book does not directly address infant loss or the death of a sibling, it provides reassurance of hope after death.
The book tenderly explains and subtly alludes to the symbols of hope and resurrection using elements in nature in a tangible way that children can understand. This book reminds me of the verse that is written on my baby’s gravestone:
Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
John 12:24 (NIV)
My husband and I chose this verse hoping that our baby’s story and brief life would bear fruit to impact lives for eternity. Likewise, this book includes a discussion guide that can be used as a springboard for a child to process their sadness, but also to discuss how there is hope that spring will come even when things appear dead in winter.
This simple book explores different feelings children may feel when someone they love has died. It shows children how they can create a memory box to remember their loved one and keep their memory alive. I am thankful for the memory box the hospital gave us. My children enjoy looking at it to remember their baby brother and also add to it during special events and holidays. See my resources for more ideas on what baby items you can place in your child’s memory box.
My friend gave our family this book after our baby died. The book personifies sadness in a creative way that helps children understand that grief may hang around awhile, but gives hope that things won’t always seem so somber. The sparse text is well-suited for younger children.