Ways to Help a Grieving Friend
Thank you for having the caring heart to want to help your grieving friend. Most of the simple ways you can help don’t necessarily cost a lot of money, but may require the gift of unhurried time.
Give the gift of presence and a listening ear.
One of the best gifts you can give a grieving friend is to listen. Let your friend share whatever she may be feeling, which may vary daily, even moment to moment. Someone who genuinely cares enough to take the time to listen can bring much healing to a friend who has many questions, overwhelming thoughts, and feelings.
Be specific about the time and date you plan to provide help or schedule a visit versus a generic, “I can help you with whatever you need.”
Attend an Angel of Hope Candlelight Ceremony with your friend.
Every December 6 at 7:00 P.M., a ceremony is held to remember those who have lost a child at any age at different Angel of Hope statues. Many of these Angel of Hope statues are located in cemeteries, churches, and hospitals. Our baby is buried close to an Angel of Hope statue and my family appreciates the special time to gather with others to honor the lives of these children. Here is a list of Angel of Hope locations
Offer to help design the memorial service program for your friend’s baby.
My sister is a former graphic designer and helped me design our baby’s memorial service program, so that my husband and I could focus on the other preparations we had to make in such a short time for the service. Your friend will most likely appreciate it if you offered your artistic or technical skills, so she doesn’t have to work on those details.
Offer to accompany or drive your friend to a grieving moms retreat or infant loss support group.
Sometimes a spouse is working and cannot accompany her to a meeting. It can be intimidating to walk into a room full of strangers and share your story of loss. If you can come with her to the initial meeting, it may be helpful. Or if it is an evening meeting, offer to provide child care, so both your friend and her spouse can go together.
Pray for your friend.
Never underestimate the power of prayer for a grieving friend. A simple prayer, written or spoken via text, voicemail, a letter, phone call, or by email, sent weeks, months, or even a year later after the loss can mean so much to a grieving mom to know others have not forgotten her baby. I am forever grateful for friends who prayed and continue to pray faithfully for us months later after our baby died. Sometimes I would still get flashbacks that would make it difficult for me to sleep. Knowing that some friends were praying for me even in the middle of the night was so comforting.
Some other ways:
- Keep asking gently how your friend is really doing even if much time has passed since the loss.
- Ask your friend how she is feeling during the holidays and if there is anything you can do to support her emotionally during a holiday gathering or event.
- Text or call your friend on Mother’s Day that you are thinking of her and her baby.
- Call, email, or send a card on the anniversary of her child’s death.
- Text your friend if you hear a song that you think might encourage her.
- Participate in a remembrance walk in honor of your friend’s baby.